On mommyhood...

It's hard not to ponder my role as a mommy as we approach a vastly commercialized day dedicated to "appreciating" our mothers.  I've recently been pondering much of what being a mom entails, not the least of which is basic care of children.  I'm thankful that my mom did so much more than that, though.  I'm often reminded from nature that most mothers are fairly decent at caring for their kids.  In fact, if that were the only standard, we'd have some pretty proud moments as moms.  But, as I'm just starting to realize, the magnitude of this job can be astounding.  Parenting in general implies giving guidance.  And even that is an understatement.  Mothering implies more than wiping snotty noses and giving cuddles when baby girls should be sleeping... It involves more than potty training and meal preparation... more than tickles & games during playtime... more than manners and scheduling.  It involves nurturing.  It involves support, training, education, and encouragement.  AND, if it isn't frustrating enough that kids' basic care isn't mastered through studying a manual, basic nurturing has no manual.  I have yet to find my mothering checklist online.  Yes, I am amazed at what is instinctual, but believe me, there are plenty of things that should have been instinctual and just weren't.  I couldn't be more thankful for the mother God gave me.  She mothered us in humility, mercy, love, and graciousness.  She loved us when we were pretty unlovable, and when we were quite homely, I might add...  She probably got sick of disciplining us, yet we always knew she cared about us.  Deeply.  She still does, in fact.  And it's thinking about the way my mom mothered that makes me realize that it's God's love that gives mothering its depth.  If he didn't love us first, what kind of love would we have?  Today I'm thankful for a mom that knew God's love.  I'm thankful for a mother-in-law that knew God's love.  And, I'm just starting to realize what a magnificent responsibility I have to pass God's love on to my girls.  I hope they have way more than just an appreciation for me when they are my age.  I sincerely hope they will be able to say that they saw Jesus in me.  I'm so thankful I know where to start.  And I'm so thankful that it didn't start with me.